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Let laughter cancel out the gloom

November 28, 2013
Joyce Schenk , Westfield Republican / Mayville Sentinel News

These days, it seems like every media outlet, whether it be radio, television or the newspaper, is bringing a constant barrage of bad news into our lives.

From the death toll in the Philippines to the political gridlock in Washington, from tainted foods at the grocery to dangerous toys in the play room, the march of melancholy never stops.

To offset the endless woes of the world, the old staying still holds true: "Laughter is the best medicine."

For many years, I've harvested and hoarded the funny stuff I've discovered along the way. From newspaper headlines to a collection of questions that seem to have no good answers, here are some smiles to counteract the down side of the news of the day.

Among my favorites in the chuckle collection are the following real headlines put together on tight deadlines by newspaper staff who didn't quite think things through.

"City Unsure Why the Sewer Smells"

"Caskets found as Workers Demolish Mausoleum"

"Harborcreek Teen Run Over by Car in Good Condition"

"Worker Suffers Leg Pain After Crane Drops 800-Pound Ball on His Head"

"Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops off Significantly After Age 25"

"Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police"

"Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"

"Hospitals Resort to Hiring Doctors"

"War Dims Hope for Peace"

"Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over"

"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"

"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges"

"Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says"

"Crack Found in Governor's Daughter"

"Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide"

"Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant"

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers"

"New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group"

"Prostitutes Appeal to Pope"

In addition to headlines, I've found an abundant source of humor in questions folks come up with dealing with the oddities of life in general. Here are some I found especially thought... And smile... provoking:

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

How do they get the deer to cross the road only at those yellow signs?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put a round pizza in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a cocoanut, why can't he fix a hole in the boat?

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

In spite of all the gloom and doom we hear every day, humor can still be found everywhere. This week, make searching for smiles a habit. Keep an eye trained and an ear tuned for the funny stuff. It's all around you.

It still holds true that laughter really is the best medicine.



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