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Random notes from the Serendipity Files

Moseyin’ Along

June 13, 2012
By Joyce Schenk - COLUMNIST (editorial@westfieldrepublican.com) , Westfield Republican / Mayville Sentinel News

For many years, I've been building an ever-expanding collection of interesting observations, puzzling questions and worthy quotes to serve as springboards for my writing.

I call this my Serendipity File, since serendipity is my favorite word. According to the dictionary, serendipity means "the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident."

So here, in no particular order, are some serendipity gems to ponder as we enter this opening act of summertime.

The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

The evening news is where they begin with "Good evening," then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

You don't need a parachute to sky dive. You only need a parachute to sky dive twice.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

Why is the guy in the fancy suit who is in charge of investing your money called a "broker?"

Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise," I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

Why is the third hand on your watch called the "second hand?"

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.

Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.

Why don't those who claim to see into the future ever hold the winning lottery tickets?

If you're going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Good fences make good neighbors, but good porches make good friends.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The best device for clearing the driveway of snow is a kid who wants to use the car.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you get to thinking you're a person of some importance, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.

Farmer's philosophy - Pray for rain, but keep on plowing.

If you're pushing 60, that's exercise enough.

Come good times or bad, there is always a market for things nobody needs.

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

I'm not overweight. I'm under tall.

Always drive as if your children were in the other car.

When in charge, ponder. When in trouble, delegate. When in doubt, mumble.

Deja Moo - The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

 
 

 

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